I Don't Know How To Save Our Relationship

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The first step in the marriage ceremony is called. It was me—the inner critic who still had not come to terms with the dissolution of my marriage and considered it a complete failure. In marriage the husband seeks to fulfill the wishes of his spouse and the spouse seeks to fulfill the wishes of her husband, four. Then celebrate this exchange of vows at this place where you chose to have your own personal marriage summit so that the experience is cemented in your memory. How do i take off the mom hat at the end of the day and enter our marriage bedroom as the sultry woman my husband craves and i wish i could be. 6 per cent 
of women in heterosexual relationships reported that they hadn’t had sex at all 
in the preceding four weeks and only 
0. Kiss in a christian relationship before marriage because it might lead to sex. As far as my point goes, i don’t care which side is correct. In a happy marriage, both the partners have mutual respect, care and admiration of each other. When i said earlier in this letter, we was shocked to note that there were so many (virtually) useless "save your marriage" guides offered online. Or, your marriage may be coming to an end. We don’t want them to suffer with all of our bickering. Apology letter for cheating in your marriage. People who don’t think they can save their marriage. Alone in your own marriage," she says. If your husband wants divorce but you don’t want for it then you can use dua to save marriage from divorce for it because it is used to save you from divorce. Why god may want you to leave your marriage. Why should you stay in a marriage that is that abusive. It doesn’t depend on us. Sometimes both people just aren’t willing to put their differences aside in order to save the relationship. I feel my faith in god growing stronger and feel my marriage slowly slip away. And it doesn’t help that people’s expectations are different seven months after a death than they were seven hours after a loss. I don’t know why you are asking this of me. 85% of the variance in whether a marriage succeeds or fails is based on the husband's actions and attitude. And spmehwere in my heart i knew letting him go wasn’t the answer. Can use in preparing for your marriage. When i mentioned it to hugh, my own husband -- who in 22 years of marriage has never once said, "honey, we need to talk" -- his face lit up like the fourth of july. A hunter is walking down a country road when a woman whom he doesn’t see often—his wife—starts talking to him. “the problem has been going on for a long while now,” a source close to the actress disclosed, adding: “you know, as afri­cans, the need for children in a marriage is very important. When your marriage is giving you trouble, the best solution is to end it. Seeking the help of a marriage counselor, or support group is generally the best step to take. Those taking the biggest hit as a marriage tax penalty are couples with similar high incomes and couples who previously had children. Although not the center of this behavior, your husband will need to be forgiving to save this relationship. Copper is the gift for the 22nd year of marriage. They allow their marriages to get caught in between squabbling kids, family politics and even work obligations. Listen to her problems; show concern for those problems; show that you have empathy; but don’t always reply with “here’s what you need to do. Problems in marriage in islam with powerful wedding dua will insha allah describe such problems alhamdulillah with their solutions. Are a child of the marriage, the certificate can be issued to you if the married couple are deceased. More than one-third of people would ignore that a spouse is cheating if they thought it would save their marriages. You can’t make up for being promiscuous before marriage by being frigid afterwards. 1 corinthians 13:4 teaches us, “love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Living together while separated can save money and may appear to be in a child’s best interest, but it could also introduce other problems. How to bring a marriage back to life: how to bring love back into a loveless marriage. You tried to change your partner’s views, their habits and ideas about certain issues and only because you have put too much of yourself in the relationship now you don’t want to risk ending it. No matter how easy it seems for other people, no marriage can work automatically. On friday ireland votes in an historic referendum on legalizing same-sex marriage. Click save marriage alone if you want to save your marriage, but don't know where or how to start. You really truly aren’t alone. Marriage is not a private agreement between two people, but a public promise made before the community. She could no longer care and checked out of the marriage. I can’t understand how to heal this time around. If marriage represent christ and the church i just don’t see how god would sanction a second marriage. Sometimes when you come upon that marriage crossroads there might be an opportunity to save the marriage. It’s often the trivia of everyday life, petty irritations as well as small pleasures, that determine whether a marriage is a success. Ago, when our marriage was falling apart and we decided to get counseling. I don’t want to come off like i can save marriages, but i can share many things with you that could possibly help save your marriage from divorce:. To take what you’ve just learned in these marriage saving tips and put them to use in your marriage. If the controlling persists, then consideration should be given to speaking with a priest with the hope that he could communicate that the lord has placed the sacramental bond between the spouses and he is the lord of the marriage, not either spouse. A big part of marriage prep for women is praying through the "wife verses," especially proverbs 31 and titus 2. Could scrubbing the toilet break up your marriage. After 29 years of marriage; the last 17 months of that being in reconciliation, our love is now deeper, our passion has never been this intense and our communication is wide open, free flowing and we hold nothing back from one another. My husband very quite doesn’t befriend people easily prefers to be on his own but we click we talk bout everything. They are not universal to marriage and not necessary in most legal jurisdictions. Navigating the challenges of marriage--and the betrayal of infidelity--without understanding the larger meaning of god’s covenant is kind of like putting together a puzzle without the picture on the box. Com and get immediate help to save your marriage today. Of course, the trick question is, "how do i know if the relationship is worth saving. When you lose respect for your spouse, you treat him with contempt and believe you are superior writes marriage therapist dr. Alimony helps an economically dependent spouse maintain the standard of living enjoyed during the marriage. As i came through the early part of my 20s, when i suffered from deep depression, i started to realize just how much that foundation was the saving grace for me. A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue. If they discover later that you omitted or hid details, or if the facts they discover don’t match the story you tell, they’ll feel betrayed once again. He needs you to understand how hard it is for him when he can’t provide because he feels like a failure. Tradition and religious belief can also be a factor, with some hindu scriptures sometimes interpreted as saying that children should be married before puberty (child marriage is a larger problem in india than in any african country). They need to make sure that you aren’t withholding anything else and they probably have a lot of questions that only you can answer.   but there’s going to be one objection, because some conscientious christian is going to say, “now, listen to me: if i do that, if i let him go, i lose the opportunity to see him saved. It destroys the trust and intimacy within the husband-wife relationship and often leads to the end of the marriage itself. Make sure you aren’t using one of these excuses to avoid it. When the time wasn’t right and the sun wasn’t bright you happily stuck by my side and helped me to do things right. At the marriage place, we believe marriage is a sacred covenant. Worse still when my partner has shifted it and i don’t know the first place to begin searching. I was set out on a mission to save her from herself and her self-destructive behaviors, but i am realizing that i am not the one capable, or qualified, to do that. You don’t have to accuse your partner of anything, remember, honesty is about you. Even the new term — marriage break — carries a lighter, more optimistic tone. Beyond sad and confused and don’t know what to do. ” isn’t intimate, it’s disturbing and selfish. Believe it or not, there are so many couples who struggle in their marriage because they don’t really know what they want. What if he is not at all willing to discuss any issues, by saying “i don’t want to talk about this” and shifting the direction of confrontation. Never threaten divorce in your marriage. We don’t talk, we do not make love. I hope this makes sense i haven’t slept in 3 days and my mind is muddled. Marriages can often resemble battlefields: lines are drawn, you stick to your guns on every issue. Saved in the whole world and they were all from noah's family. The current statistics about marriage are sobering. 3drose white rose - marriage, wedding, wedding day, save the date, engagement, bridal shower, rose, greeting cards, 6 x 6 inches, set of 12. This is a great life verse for marriage because marriage is a union of two sinners. All my young friends now know how to save a marriage from breaking up, so go ahead and search for your valentine. Can broken marriages be fixed. We know this doesn’t make things better and yet we get many emails each and every day from couples who are where you are. I can’t say i know what’s it’s like to be you, but i know it’s tough. In the end, no marriage is truly broken unless both people involved agree to end it. Some marriages thrive after an affair; others wither away. Hence each of the indian marriage rituals is guided by their own customs and norms.   at the same time, they often don’t want to out and out reject or disappoint their spouse because deep down, they really do want to save their marriage. You sound like a smooth talker jerry, women these days aren’t ignorant, stop insulting our intelligence. Only fidelity – a deep commitment to remain faithful to one another – can hold a marriage together for the long haul.

i don t know how to save my marriage

Believe it or not, very few of the wives that i hear from want to give up on their marriages. I don’t wanna give up on a marriage, but i’ve tried to fix the flaws for years and i’m tired of trying all by myself. By: katie lersch: i sometimes hear from folks who know that it is time to end their affair, but they aren’t sure how to go about it. I don’t know how he could even drive home — i know, a terribly scary thought at the danger he placed others in on the roadways. Each marriage candidate has some unique dialogue, so your experience will be slightly different depending on who you marry. A straying partner who has convinced him- herself that life will be wonderful with the new person seldom decides that before he or she leaves they should take one more run at saving the marriage. Suppose there's a stalemate in a marriage. A couple which weathers financial storms together reaffirms their strong marriage. Don’t want another failed marriage that could be saved. He fathered a child outside of marriage. Different people do things like toil or stay together or feel promiscuous—or 100 other things—for totally different reasons, so broad statements like those don’t help with anything.   your civil union will remain intact and will still be on file with the office of vital statistics and registry after you enter into marriage with your civil union partner. Random stuff from target – “we don’t need most of this stuff anyway”. Three short years later, the lord would save me and set me to preaching. The face of a marriage certificate issued in 2004. What was happening to my marriage. Sex doesn’t simply unite two people on a physical level; it’s much more than that. Should you try to save your marriage if  you are seriously questioning your love for this man. Being a listener doesn’t mean you have to be the problem solver, it just means you are there for him when he needs to empty out his heart and mind. Using this material, you’ll be able to save your marriage without shelling out for high priced marriage counselor fees. Marriage calculator is the tool you need. Is this all normal in a marriage. Counseling to save your marriage will teach you what you need to navigate through any kind of problem, helping ensure that you come out of it with your spouse. Now, i avoid men in general and have isolated myself from most people over the whole marriage and put up with so much and my talking to someone i led a youth group with at a church 20 years ago – why can i not talk to this person. His stance on gay marriage hasn't changed. “this is due to the fact that the civil code (section 1298) provides that compensation in the case of non-fulfilment of a promise to marry is in general confined to damage caused by the actual expenses incurred in expectation of the marriage. The marriage has broken down irretrievably. To work on it means that you are putting some effort into both your marriage and yourself. I finally said the unthinkable—at least what would have been unthinkable before that moment in our marriage. Are you looking for the best marriage advice. Keeping love alive during marriage crisis. Why save sex for marriage. No body would have been able to convince me about magical spells, not until dr degbono did a marvelous work for me and restored my marriage of 6 years back to me and brought my spouse back to me in the same 24 hours just as i read on the internet. It may be a parallel path, but the differences are enough that my marriage is very stressful to me at times. The shock shouldn’t be that you experience any conflict, but rather that you actually get along. Do both of you feel at least a little bit committed to saving the marriage. The service is completely confidential and they won’t contact their (the victim’s) family. To me, one of the big takeaways from this article is that you should start saving for major expenses that you know you will encounter in 5-10 years —. That’s not to say that your relationship can’t be genuinely different from all those failed partnerships. And through her offer of pure love and forgiveness, she could overcome obstacles of their marriage and create the cause for their happiness to resurface. Is, for all purposes, prima facie evidence of the facts stated in the document and of the validity of the marriage to which the document relates. In light of these marital stability statistics and the greater risk for mental and physical health problems among separated and divorced individuals, identifying the factors that help marriages survive has important implications. What makes a marriage savable during a separation when there aren't kids or people who are super committed. It's always best to give a trial marriage separation a try rather than heading straight for divorce.    learn from what other people just like you have done to successfully win their lover's back, save their relationships, and restore all the wonderful things you had in the beginning. How to get over marriage or relationship problems solved with love spell: check on dr. Remember that nobody can interfere or influence your marriage unless you allow them to. Over time, these little annoyances could lead to huge frustrations in your marriage. Frankly, this is why simple marriage exists. I pray for all marriages and families so as to find peace and harmony. But why am i the one working so hard when i have been completely faithful during this marriage. Same-sex marriage is legal in hawaii effective december 2, 2013. Don't let your spouse, your friends, or the "divorce industry" rush you into ending your marriage. What they might not realize is that left unresolved, this issue can cause underground resentment that can eat away at your marriage:. Those who have been living before “getting hitched” have quite a high failure rate of marriage, all things considered, as mentioned here. But be sure your therapist’s opinion isn’t biased towards keeping a marriage no matter what because sometimes, there is no viable way to make a relationship work if the differences are way too many. In this first post,i will write on certain truths you need to know before you take any step to saving your marriage,as they are very important for over all exercises of saving marriage irrespective of any methods you might be using. Sadly/wrongly/most of us aren’t taught this skill. God will restore your marriage also. Way to understand church teachings on marriage and annulment—and perhaps begin. Don’t jump right into the nookie; that is a sure way to reduce calorie burning. Fornication and adultery damage marriage, however, and god. It doesn’t have to be expensive – it could even be free. How do i help to save my marriage i just feel like giving up ive given it my all. Continuing to invest in marriage. She is grieving the death of her marriage the same way she grieved the death of her father. You are a part of the marriage and if you can change one part (yourself), it will have an effect on the other part (your spouse). This module will help you with formulating a number of steps that is to be based on whatever crisis stage you happen to be in currently, so you can take the most beneficial steps to save your own marriage. It doesn’t matter; the person you knows you is the person that has the potential to have the best possible sexual connection. Let's talk about a plan to turn things around even if only one of you wants to work on the marriage. Methods for assessing the condition of a marriage. First of all, the milk isn’t ever really free, is it. When i was still growing up that marriage is no joke. My objective is to work hard at getting to the bottom of the issue so that you don’t have to come for marriage therapy forever. If he is willing to try and save the marriage, but feels it necessary to relocate, then do it. Actually, separation may even lead to a restored, enriched, growing marriage. An uncontested dissolution of marriage can be granted immediately in florida if children are not involved and your spouse does not deny that the marriage is irretrievably broken. Using an affair as an opportunity to help save a marriage has gained ground in the past decade or so in light of a broader therapeutic push to dig deeper. At the end, says georgia, "we liked the course so much we signed up for another marriage education course a few weeks later - and by the end of that one, we had decided we should stay together. For example, if you want to save three months’ worth of income in an emergency account, set money aside for a down payment on a house, and fund your summer vacation, then you could open three accounts to see at a glance how close you are to reaching your goals. How a fresh start can save a marriage from separation: don’t you wish that getting marriage help would be as simple as turning back time. But the truth is, the person next to you didn’t change. As we said, the only expert on your relationship is yourself, so don’t think that any “save your marriage” tips you might find on television, in bookstores or on the internet will be a magic cure-all to stop a divorce and save your relationship. 2:8-9 "for by grace are ye saved through faith. Marriage increases the odds that a man will be committed to both the children that he helps create and to the woman with whom he does so. Won’t bother me that much, because i know that eventually we’ll make up and. If intimacy is an issue in your marriage, there is a solution. So, can you use the law of attraction to save a relationship with a particular person. Not only will you save money, but the. We’re spending our saturday afternoons fixing the flood damage in the basement because we can’t afford to hire it out, listening to the oldies station and cds no one else would like but us. Most everyone has marriage problems at some point in the relationship. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. He doesn’t like communicating equal, he want to tell me what he needs and i need to obey by it, his rules… my needs do not matter, my wants are demanding and don’t meet his so why do i fuss. If you didn’t earn it, you must respect it even more. 9 years in and i haven’t surrendered it to the lord. These should let you know what will happen in marriage when that person feels she / he has access to a far bigger pool of money. Fast forward through 20 years of marriage. You don’t even know if it’s possible to save your marriage if your spouse wants out. This is a contradiction to the earlier sign of an unhappy marriage, but this is a valid point too. I know that professional counseling can be expensive, especially if you don’t have insurance that will cover all or part of the charges. James is a college-trained engineer who can’t find a job in his chosen field. But vignaraj, a hindu of silver spring, maryland, feels that children bear the heaviest burden of mixed marriages. The university of san francisco have concluded that women wearing synthesised human pheromone outperform those who don’t. “just don’t do what i did to save money on the vehicle we drove off in [after getting married],” clark warns of his marriage to wife lane. ” obviously, they remain two individuals, but in god’s ideal for marriage the two become one—in purpose.

i don t know how to save my marriage

I Don't Know How To Save Our Relationship

Those with this type of attachment style really don't open up easily or think about relationships to a great extent which also makes them very vulnerable for an affair or even multiple affairs. The reason your woman is not banging is because she is 1) banging someone else 2) doesn’t like sex 3) is a lesbian trying to hide that fact from her friends and family 4) just despises you for some unknown reason. Anyway, i just don’t know what to do. My sons are in their late teens and if my wife hadn’t left me, i wouldn’t have come to this group and learned about the lord. If they have a relationship based on something more important than sexual monogamy, and both cherish that thing, then the sanctity of their relationship can remain intact.   i don't believe i am gay and want to save my marriage. I lied to him and said i didn’t because i deleted my text messages. Although i confide in them, i've never had a relationship outside of us that was so intense (time or content-wise) but then i'm more reluctant to get close to people. Com don't give up just yet, the different between 'ordinary' & 'extra-ordinary' is the 'extra' so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it. The absence of sexual intimacy in a marriage is not always bad, if both spouses honesty feel that they are satisfied and happy in their relationship even without an active sex life, then a sexless marriage is okay and works for them. He said god isn’t real and doesn’t exist. There is no relationship that goes untarnished with problems so in order to pass through this difficult time use a love spell to remove problems in a relationship or marriage. Hello, my name is angel i can’t hide this amazing testimony that took place in my life. We all make mistakes in relationships. Stuff that doesn’t matter. Are you fighting that you can’t seem to stop living paycheck to paycheck, can’t seem to save money, have way too much debt and somehow keep sinking more and more into debt, or is it something else entirely. ) yes he wasn’t the only one suffering, they never seem to realize that, or care who else suffers. A counselor won’t instantly fix your relationship, but they will help put you on the right path. It’s not like the polish filmmaker doesn’t know how to do this. First step to save your marriage by. We weren’t married a month when we had dinner with some neighbours at our tiny flat, and he got unbelievably drunk again, accused me loudly of flirting with the neighbours husband and made such an uncomfortable scene, then proceeded to puke everywhere and pass out. When asked why they don’t pray more with their wives, husbands often say wives can be intimidating or critical. Meeting with other local couples has been bedrock for our relationship. Why do you say the wife us responsible for the relationship. First families came and went in the white house, and often didn’t realize, in sally’s view, how washington worked, a phenomenon she griped about in many of her articles during those years. In my experience and research, i've found that men who go to treatment for their partners or to save a relationship generally don't fare as well. Rich wasn’t trying to be snoopy, but he clicked on the message and there it was: six months of daily messages between bob and emma. Last year my wife had a mini affair with a coworker, we were in a rut, and she had suggested that maybe we should have an open relationship. He is coming over for lunch tomorrow and i have decided that i have to accept the fact that at this moment he doesn’t want me but he is also showing not a lot of interest in anything it’s not just me. Practice being thoughtful of the things you say to your spouse and try to limit negative or sarcastic comments which hurt your relationship. If you feel like you have done everything in your might to save a failing relationship. Many people mistake it for being only the physical aspect of the relationship, though it equally includes the importance of emotional closeness as well. I don;t even know if she loves me.   first, i responded, “i don’t think you should do anything hastily. I’m so frustrated with myself – how do i change my inherent need to control, so that i don’t have to exhaust myself monitoring my thoughts all the time and holding myself back. The one thing that you absolutely have to do to if you are serious about saving your marriage. I have a much better goal in mind, that i'll help you to reach far beyond that to guarantee the future success of your relationship. Todd says that he has "absolutely" seen postnups save marriages, alleviating the pressure of worrying too much about money. Wasn’t supposed to be fixed. You ought to back up, grow up, deepen your relationship with god before you ever consider being married, because if you bring out the worst in each other when you’re dating, you’re really going to bring out the worst in each other when you marry. Doing counseling doesn’t mean your relationship is bad. Please give me your opinion, i want to save my marriage. I do not believe it it possible to escape this, and anyway, “marginalization and persecution” aren’t even at the heart of what’s coming. But if they don’t, you’ll still have someone to speak with who can help you get perspective and take active steps to help your marriage. And do you want the relationship you have. We now have a numerous approaches to repair a damaged relationship between sisters. ’  she didn’t agree with the separation. Don’t reduce family life to an ongoing debate about the numbers. Module 3: save the marriage ebook (159 pages). I’ve also worked with individuals to trust again after previous childhood trauma or relationship pain from their ex-partners and guided them on how to save a marriage. You also deserve to be happy and have a satisfying relationship with. Mark was incensed by the change and suspected that angie was attracted to her new boss, but he didn’t confront her about it right away. Although it sounds odd, but speaking to women about relationship issues is not a good idea. The increases are relative to a reference point, but it isn’t clear to me why you’re changing the size of the reference point every time. There's no self-righteousness quite like the self-righteousness of someone who believes him- or herself saved.   don’t interrupt and don’t provoke. My confidence wasn’t particularly great at the time – i wanted my pre-baby body back and didn’t feel great about how i looked. In contrast to counselling for relationship issues, which can be undertaken solely through individual sessions, couples counselling is a term applied to talk therapy for two people within a relationship. I have faith that my relationship will be restored and made better. The key isn’t avoiding marriage problems but learning how to navigate them together. In many cases, cheating is a catalyst for strengthening a marital relationship. Think of me as your relationship consultant, i'm your neutral third party that can help you untangle the emotions and help you figure out what's really going on. However, if we approach this from a passive, self-centered perspective — where our love depends on our level of physical, mental and emotional satisfaction — then there can be 100 reasons why marriage doesn’t work. I don’t think divorce is simple and you do pledge through sickness and health and better or worse but at some point if only one of you is invested and making an effort that’s not much of a marriage. Because it saves your nerves. They told me that they knew it wasn’t my fault- that my mom was brainwashing me and i didn’t know. Romans 5:10 “for since our friendship with god was restored by the death of his son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his son. My husband is depressed, from what i know has been for the length of our whole relationship. Savings was also minimal as we were overextended and never thought to put money away in both our. Then once it happened, they found themselves continuing with the cheating relationship/relationships. However, marriages in this situation are saved everyday and there is hope. Do you want to save your marriage or relationship but don’t know how. But also we’re both in uni and can’t really marry for at least 3 years… but i want to be with him and live with him and these desires seem perfectly natural and good and its frustrating and extremly upsetting that we can’t give in to them. Your attitude of always having to be right is killing your relationship. I am extremely depressed, don’t know what to do. Think of it this way: if god can sunder the unified flesh of adam, then someone could sunder the “one flesh” of a husband-wife relationship (gen. I don’t think our kids really know what is going on and i don’t want to demean their father. And the kind words others say are nice but hurt even more, because i can’t fully accept them and knowing i can’t accept love hurts so bad. If he don't love you anymore and is not willing to save the relationship, then you're gonna have to take it one day at a time and move on. He didn’t understand why i needed to be on my own. If you don’t what else can you expect but more or worse than the same. " data-widget="linkref open the bottle by sharing with your partner what you need from a relationship, whether it's emotional support or splitting the grocery bill. Making it seem like you are more worried about helping the relationship then criticizing her will help her not get defensive. Sometimes the best way to figure out if you can save your marriage — or if you even want to be in this relationship anymore — is to go for individual counseling. Eventually i came to terms with the fact that my biggest fear came to fruition mostly because i realized that what i feared more than divorce was the impact an unhealthy relationship was going to have on my life and my child’s. I honestly thought i was saved. That no problems come in our relationship again and we live happily and. It’s a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship.  can a marriage really be saved after an affair. Consider the things in your own marriage that hinder your sexual relationship. The wife runs to her parents’ home when ever there’s a problem in the relationship. I am so scared of being hurt, but i can’t stand the thoughts if not having him in my life. Dear ‘1 lost guy’ , i don’t believe that the woman (and the men) are being selfish here. Word, when used to refer to humans, implies a partnership of two equals, rather than a relationship. I’m saddened to think that they won’t in the time left in my youth or in children i bear. In that case, i can’t offer much hope for a reconciliation. While a child isn’t likely to thrive in a home with parents who are unhappy in their marriage, there is also a high potential for damage to kids when their parents divorce. In the marriage relationship there is complete freedom in this respect but outside marriage this is forbidden as we can clearly see from our scripture. It was not easy having one foot in one relationship and the other in another. There is a reason that sex advice is easier to give than relationship advice. And going by the more fact that essential relationship are not promoted or are. I didn’t realize that until i told my husband about my affair. This subtle numerical pattern is one that many of your guests won’t even notice, but you’ll always remember it. And he just kept pounding at rehab that i was too controlling and he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. I’ve contemplated breaking up with him but i don’t know what to do.